I miss her most when I go for a walk alone along the streets I use to walk her down. My feet slow past her favorite sniffing spots, and I bow my head and look away as I pass her doggie friends. My throat tightens and my eyes well-up with tears. I feel an empty, gaping whole in my heart. I am missing Ripley.
In early August we said good-bye to Ripley, or German Shepherd Dog. She had a cancerous tumor in her bladder - incurable and inoperable. It was devastating.
We adopted Ripley from the Virginia German Shepherd Rescue in February 2004. I looked at many pictures of dogs on the rescue's site. Something in her face pulled me to her - it said me and no other, and from the moment we meet we bonded. She was our family dog, but she was my dog.
She was glued to my side. For the six and a half years she was with us, no matter who else was home, if I was out she waited by the door. She slept on the floor on my side of the bed. She even curled up on the rug outside the shower waiting for me to finish. She ran with me while I trained for marathons. She walked with me when I needed to get out of the house. I returned that love and devotion - more than I thought, more than I understood, until I lost her.
Now I see her shadow in the corner, by the door, and sleeping beside me. It gets easier as the days go by, but sometimes, some moments, when I forget, I call her, or look around for her, or wake and reach down for her. Then I remember. Then tears well up again. Then I feel lonely again.
I have stopped going for walks in the neighborhood. Our move to the new house can not come soon enough.
I am missing Ripley.
